round the corner and around again

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 13:02:34 GMT

I've got a new and exciting job at a Brazilian bar. It looks a bit like this.

As you can see, I've been working out.

the midnight oil

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 01:17:03 GMT

just back from the National Business Award, which as much as fun as it sounds. Nice food and plenty of wine though. Good to be an employee of the Best Employer Award winner, but probably not so good that it warrants me sleeping here tonight. That's right, i'm back at the office. I've not yet found a flat, and there was no way i could get home to St Albans tonight.

There are things I like about London. I love the mass of humanity. That I can leisurely examine each of two dozen faces, hands, feet and bodies jammed into a tube, and imagine what they have done. That it doesn't matter what someone looks like, because there's another equally gorgeous girl, tired man, young scruff, drawn woman, well dressed elderly man just around the corner, each no more or less than the last. And consequently the infinite experience in each body is infintesmal in the whole. I love talking to people on the tube. I love fireworks. I love that I can drive to three differnet countries in a day. I love halal butchers, afro-caribbean grocers, italian delis, curry houses. I love that art, theatre, dance, film are mainstream, if only as a function of massive population. That radio as a forum for drama and information has a large enough audience to be a viable alternative to television. Even the weather so far has been good.

There are things I don't. It's dark around four, and leaving work feels like the middle of the night. Commuting two hours in and out of work, and so having a couple of hours of darkness to myself. The filth. The poverty and depression. The fatigue in the rush hour crowd. The horribly low standard of free to air television (and particularly Ant and Dec). The knowledge that I won't be able to fulfil my burning desire to swim, at least not in the ocean as I would love to.

Once I have a bed and a kitchen to call my own, and a bicycle to make my body work I'll be a happy man. I miss you all like summer.

incommunicado

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 13:04:53 GMT

been working about a month now at innocent, which happens to be The Best Office in The World. I have a whole hoopla of responsibility, which is a little scary, but it's nice to have to validate all those things you write about yourself on your cv. The people i work with are lovely, and there's free breakfast every day (hooray!). Also lovely is free friday drinks, although i've toned it down a little after the first couple of weeks' impropriety.

At the moment i'm flat hunting. There are so many flats available and none are perfect, so it's been tough so far. The main issue is money. I'm looking at around £800 for bond + first month's rent - something i can cover with my salary, but not leaving much to spare. Right now i'm flat broke, and my credit card has had its maiden voyages.

I've planned out my cycle route, though i'm thinking it might wait another year... we'll see what happens. as a join the dots it goes something like this
hague - haarlem - amsterdam - maastricht - brussels - antwerp - la roche - strasbourg - paris - quimper - la rochelle - bordeaux - bayonne - pamplona - bilbao - leon - la coruna - porto - salamanca - madrid - toledo - lisbon - sagres - seville - corboda - granada - almeria - valencia - barcelona - montpellier - aix-en-provence -cannes - nice - monaco - genoa - florence - verona - venice - trieste - koper - pira - istria - split - dubrovnik - train to istanbul - goreme - fethiye - koycegiz - datca - pamukalle - bodrum

I think I'll be extremely lucky to make it this far. if i do with time/money to spare i'll island hop greece, train north to hungary, cycle through hungary, slovakia, czech republic germany, denmark and back to london. obviously this hugely ambitious, and i don't really expect to cover half of it. wherever i run out of money i'll try to work, and if i run out of time i'll have to jet back to england. but it would be fucking cool if i even get a small part of it done.

rosie's coming up trumps

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 18:14:42 GMT

i have a job! i have competing employers!

so. i did the vomit in a bucket and praise yourself mercilessly thing to about ten companies over the last two days. I am astute, hardworking, valuable addition to your team, personable, professional, responsible and flexible. but never dynamic. among the recipients of my effluvia where harrods (who rang back once, but not twice), virgin atlantic (sending me an application pack), and the casting collective for a position as a casting assistant (i only sent my handwritten letter to them today, so i don't here from them for at least a week). multiskilled, me.

i had my first interview today, with innocent drinks, the company that (allegedly) were ripped off by nudie. i was told that was a sensitive issue when i asked about the similarity, and i was severely frowned at. naturally, the interview was disastrous, me prattling on about anything and everything that came into my head, and trying to figure out just how passionate i should be about what i was saying. honestly - "talk me through your cv"? what were they thinking? well, you can imagine my surprise when i was rung this afternoon and asked to start on monday. yeah! the job's full time and well paid, and the companies has a raft of awards for being cool employers (it did look very cool - they have foozeball! in the office!) and i am management. that's junior management to you.

yay.

now for a dose of ethical dilemma. i previously agreed to do a trial day with a camden market furniture shop tomorrow, for a fee of £40. the job's less well paid, and i have no intention of taking them up on their offer (unless i can spark a bidding war). so, to go in, work my ass off and take their money, or to ring up, leave them in lurche and benefit no one? i think the man in the sterling jacket has it.

i am negotiated a deal with mon oncle wherein i can stay this weekend, but i need to be out by october 4 (monday after next, fool). (funny story. the reason i can't stay is because sometimes whne brian and his mates go out, they like to crash at someone's house, sometimes even with girls, and brian figures his turn is coming up real soon. if this make any sense to you, please send a self addressed envelope PO beatbox). i also received a call from my mama's cuz, who demanded that i stay in her gaff in st albans (one hit wonder, you say) if i ever need a place to rest my head. which is well wicked, totally unexcepted and totally appreciated. however, i'm going to try with all my little heart to be able to move into premises of my own before then, now that i'm jobbed up and all. a safety net is nice though.

so i'm feeling very chuffed about now.

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 09:19:05 GMT

back from ireland, visiting relatives and places that aren't as big as i remember. i stayed with my grandad, who was losing the plot a little. being the diplomatic soul i am, we only had one argument, when i caught him putting laundry tablets in the dishwasher. he was very offended that i'd have the gall to say that there was anything wrong with what he'd been doing for years. kids these days, no respect. had a nice couple of days with erin and co, did horrible things to myself with red bull and vodka, spent outrageous amounts on food + drink, and heard close relatives propose awful acts (luckily they were turned down). three weeks was the most damage to my mind, body and pocket i could manage.

after three weeks steeped and simmered in my heritage, i'm back in london, and i think i've made a largish mistake. my host here is holidaying soon, and has made it clear that he does not want me staying here while he's away. i think it's my shifty eyes.

allow me these options three. option the first - ask very nicely whether i could stay. option the second - contact chris, then roger lewis on the basis of jo's invite. option the third - hostel it up. none of which are long term options, but i suppose this never was either. hmmm.

i'm off job hunting. wish me luck.

burnt my heart and blew my mind.

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 20:11:00 GMT

the last week i've repeatedly tried to visit the tate modern, and but only got the chance to see one gallery. until today. wow. i can't really say anything constructive about such a wealth of expression. of beauty and anger and wit and serenity and playfulness and despair. i actually cried (very unseemly and embarrassing).

i also got the chance to watch cremaster 5. i didn't get it all, but me and the enprammed infant next to me enjoyed it immensely. i think matthew barney works out, but i'm not sure how he might reconcile his physical regime with his artistic integrity. at least he's got a purty gurlfriend.

the week has been an expensive one - £8 a day on travel in and out of london. i'm staying about 45 mins north of town, pretty much countryside. we can't put our bins overnight, because the foxes get into them, and the man across the road has badgers living in his backyard. this arrangement is only temporary; i met chris the last night, and he reckons he might have a place pretty soon after i get back from ireland. so i'd be living with chris and jo again! very exciting stuff.

feeling slightly lonely too. wandering around by yourself just isn't the same - people-watching devolves to perving when you can't have a running commentary with someone. naturally all this brings out about fears of social ineptitude, which is primo phobia at the best of times. (luckily i resolved to write badness on paper not on lj, cause i know it makes for some boring reading.) in short, missing having friends around me all the time, though i know why this is a good thing too.

what's in the box?

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 19:42:07 GMT

i woke early this morning when something touched me on the head. it was a small dark lump - hey, it's a kitten! (thank you bizarre half-asleep brain.) i pat the kitten, to find it unresposive and furless. so i try to pick it up, figuring it's a sock or something. AND IT MOVES! i stare at it and try to figure out what it is: small, warm, furless though kinda hairy and alive. i come up with pig or bat, neither of which help me out very much.

- emmett, there's something in the bed.
- it's probably my hand.

this is why i never sleep with people.

so long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, adieu.

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 14:22:39 GMT

just a short panicked entry to say so long perth. see you in england, scotland, ireland, italy, spain, greece and croatia in a day, a week, a month, november, january, and late 2005. otherwise i'll see you back in perth when i do. good luck with everything.

(i applaud my 12 year old brother, sean, who did his homework nude today. i think he feels plenty comfortable with the strange things his body is doing right now, thank you very much.)

much love and missing you already,
conor.

i'll keep you posted.

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 09:12:46 GMT

i woke up this morning and realised what a big deal this is. and i was terrified. finally.

in other news, i finally compared kill bill volumes 1 & 2 side by side last night. first time i saw vol 2, i thought it was it good, but i didn't enjoy it as much as the first one. and seeing vol 1 last night, i thought the same thing in reverse. final vote has vol. 2 by a nose. having said that, i still pretty much hate brian carradine as soon as his character has any depth - he's pretty cool as psychotic lynchian cowboy, but not much more. and i despise the crap dialogue between beatrix and bill in the final scenes. fucking comic book shit. i also realised that style v. substance is not really an issue, since style is substance. i know this is obvious, but i'm maths boy and therefore a little slow on analysis and criticism.

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 09:14:19 GMT

i no longer have a valid source of income, and it feels good. one by one my responsibilities are disappearing with the keys on my keyring. pretty soon there'll be no keys left (except for little padlock keys). i realise this can't last for long, but i need to make the most of it while it does. on the other hand, so much to do and precious little time.

it was a bit wierd leaving supa valu, because i only ever worked there six hours a week, so i know how completely dispensible i was. there's so much there that i won't miss... the ride down was nice though, and possibly an important conduit to me being so pro-bike. i think the wierdest thing is realising how many people you're not quite friends, but you feel like you've known them for ages. this sounds like family, in an unsentimental type of way.

you hear so many great stories when you're about to leave on A Great Adventure. One woman i met was travelling in her youth, and decided to drop in a (male) friend who was working in an orphanage in Sri Lanka. They worked at the orphanage for a while and - predictably - fell in love with it. after some time, it was revealed to them that the elderly couple running the orphanage wanted to pass on the reins to them. Unfortunately, the pertinent officials were not in favour of two single people running an orphanage, so this woman and her friend procured themselves an interpreter and went to negotiate. After talking to various administrators and bureaucrats and completing various articles of paperwork, they returned to the orphanage triumphant, wielding documents giving them the authority to take control. A local jesuit (somehow involved in the running of the orphanage, damn perfidious jesuits)congratulated them and examined their paperwork. And then he congratulated them with much greater rigour. Unknowingly, the pair had been married, and held the Tamil marriage certificate to prove it. They remain married to this day.

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:39:31 GMT

if you're anything like me, you're feeling overworked and wondering what to do with your friday 13th. luckily, there's going to be a hooj going away drinks (and stuff) tomorrow night at belgian beer cafe from 8. and elsewhere afterward. there'll be enough lurve for all and sundry (and second helpings!), even if i need to provide it all my own.

come along and bask in my over-excitedness. splendid.

you can tell by the way i move my walk.

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 03:41:57 GMT

there's going to little panda big man dance academy of dancin'. subscriptions are on a first come, first served basis, so get in quick. and don't think your mother's going to get in for free, cause she won't.

thank you to the people of perth for hosting our funk, and thank you to honourary inductee number one, for introducing me to the cossack beer dance.

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 12:39:52 GMT

[so, i decided to make dinner last night, but my mum was already set to make spaghetti bolognaise out of a jar. quelle blah!]

heat olive oil in pan. add diced onion and finely chopped garlic, and stir till translucent. add minced beef to pan and brown. remove from heat.

in a separate saucepan, heat more olive oil. once oil is hot add diced red capsicum and finely sliced hot cacciatori. very quickly transfer meat mixture to saucepan and stir well. lower heat and add [tinned] tomatoes and tomato paste. stir well and bring to simmering point. then add roughly chopped basil, finely chopped parsley and whole pitted black olives. leave on a very low heat while you prepare pasta and dressing. when you're ready, add finely sliced chilli and salt to taste and serve immediately.

top with grated romano combined with a little grated raw portobello mushroom. serve on pasta of choice - i recommend celery, garlic and basil linguine.

feeling the pressure to write beautiful and insightful prose.

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 13:20:11 GMT

[been looking at other's entries and feeling sadly inferior. i just don't have the motivation to craft my entries, and that sort of writing don't come cheap.]

netball is no longer, and with its passing my social life seems to have atrophied. i'm beset with the fear that i'm imposing on people when i ask them out for no reason, and the weight of expectation to entertain. this is why competitive sport or theatre or discussion groups or fucking quiz nights are invaluable as excuses to hang out and as sources of effortless distraction from awkward silences. if only more of my friends were robots. maybe sex robots, like Jude.

i'm seriously considering buying a bicycle when i get to europe and making that my main mode of transport. crazy i hear you say. well, the other night i spoke to a woman who cycled across canada and usa into alaska, through parts of china and through israel and saudi arabia twenty years ago. so i oscillate between visions of sailing by bleached mediterranean shores and admitting that i'll probably end up riding the fastest cheapest train from one city to the next.

either way, it's going to be as cool as fuck.

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 13:57:42 GMT

today i got paid to watch school of rock and play chasey with small children. easily a new contender for my favourite jobs.

and then, pleats kicked ass at netball. and it's not like the other team wasn't good, we were just better. we fucked them up.

an afternoon in pjs

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 13:29:48 GMT

[I had a lovely lazy sunday afternoon. since my connections are sporadic, i account that day's activities now.]

0237. brush teeth, pee, and bed. warm in the bed with the strange happiness of goodbyes just made and imminent adventures.

0630. wake, dress, and breakfast of cold potato and microwaved quiche. drive (yay!) to work.

1130. Coworker Karl regales me with fifteen minute tale of woe and despair wherein our hero is forced to avoid his best friends sister because he can't keep his gaze from her perfect breasts - "the shape and texture of two small rockmelons... orbular... juicy". all this despite my practiced indifference.

1340. home with pizza for comfort lunch. long hot shower and pjs on. read in bed under the covers with sigur ros because it would be a sin if i didn't at least pretend i am not taking an afternoon nap.

1500. stumble out to sitting room to curl up on the couch. feel like i'm five and therefore make appropriately infantile noises at my mum.

1510. wrestle with sean on the couch. watch motorsport for a good fifteen minutes more than the recommended daily dietary intake.

1530. the second half of punchdrunk love. lovely film.

1545. mum reacts badly to phillip seymour hoffman - "Shut the fuck up! shut! shut! shut! shut! shut the fuck up!" - and leaves the house.

1615 - 1800. finally finish the corrections. sad and beautiful. think about catharsis as literary device and psychological phenomenon. think about human perception and human relationships and the way people perceive and construct relationships and the ways that this defines people.

1945. lost in translation with mum, who likes it.

2200. brush teeth, pee and bed again. note the topsheet hole becoming a mansize tear.

long live the triple click.

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 13:41:47 GMT

o, embarrassment and shame. i ran into one of my honours year lecturers today at the supermarket where i now work. naturally, she recognised me and struck up a conversation, asking whether i'll return to mathematics, when she knows full well how bone-idle and distracted i was as a student. gar. i hid in the storeroom with the sack of carob almonds for the rest of the day.

has anybody else read about microsoft patenting the double click? funny evil bastards.

mourning my mornings

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 07:07:24 GMT

every morning i wake to the mournful bleeping of my alarm. these days i can't see what time it is because recently my eyelids have been glued together with mysterious crap. i stumble over to my clock then back to bed and try to figure out what day it is and whether i really need to get up this early. then i half-sleep for half an hour. usually it takes an audible declaration to get myself out for good - sometimes "get up bambi!", but more often i can only muster up a fuck. i go to the bathroom and wash the crud out of my eyelashes, enjoying a moment of vanity and admiring the cream-rimmed bloodshot pissholes staring back at me. then it's back to my room for deoderant and clothes - presuming there are clean underpants available that do not require a half-naked trudge through dewy grass and the inevitable dog turds to the clothes line followed by an all too brief spell on the heater. depending on times, breakfast can be anything from a raw egg in a glass of juice (zoom has nothing on me) to baked beans from the tin and a slice of bread.

then i get on my bike, and after the first couple of minutes of clearing mental dimness and numb fingers, everything starts to look up. i plan my night, and how i'm going to go to bed at 9.30, no matter how hard tv or friends try to keep me away from its loving embrace. the thought makes the day's work tolerable, and occasionally enjoyable.

at 12.30 that night i flick my clock from off to buzzer and resign myself to having the willpower of a moth.

like a virgin.

Sun, 30 May 2004 15:28:11 GMT

this is my first lj entry, to test the waters. i'm not going to tell anyone until i'm good and ready. i realise that lj insecurity is unbelievably lame, but i want to be admired, not judged. plus, i figure everyone has plenty of day to day journals to read already, so mine won't start till i have something to say - when i hit the road that is.

i'm fully aware that i can't commit to the huge responsibility of a webjournal just yet. christ, when you're too lazy for procrastination you're in real trouble.